Brian Gerke

I choose to work with this particular community of what I can now call true, deep friends because of the profound, reciprocal, and ever-evolving respect, support, and love that we all share for each other and the work we create. Entering a creative environment that already has an undercurrent of love and respect, creates a fertile ground for experimentation and risk-taking. I have found comfort, exhilaration, and growth, both as a human traversing this chaotic and often unforgiving world and as an artist attracted to experimenting with my own gifts, challenges, and curiosities within a safe environment. We can grow together, as a family will and should.

Leaning into my own power feels BIG to me, and part of that includes claiming and being seen in that bigness. After all, isn’t that when we show ourselves the most? This is not something I often allow, and it is most certainly not something I feel comfortable doing. It is much easier for me to admit my own fallibility and avoid stepping into moments of authority. However, the more I avoid doing so the more I notice a growing internal, private resentment. The powerful one inside of me knows better and every time I betray him, I feel a small break, a tiny anguish, and an increasing bitterness. I think denying any part of oneself is a protective act: “if you don’t completely know me, you can’t completely reject me.” It may feel seductively safe, but it is selfish and actually quite dangerous.

A quote for you to consider: in The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis wrote…“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” For me, to feel BIG is to open my heart to risk and rejection by living fully into my power as a thinking, mover, friend, son, brother, teacher, and collaborator, which really simply means finding greater self-acceptance/love.